Bev has self-sabotaged for years. The fear that the people in her life would criticize her was around every corner. So she used alcohol and food to soothe herself. A lifetime of experiences solidified in her mind that she wasn't good enough. So many women can relate, we feel like we don’t measure up or we aren’t worthy. And like Bev, many of us will use food, alcohol, shopping, binge watching or other means to check out when these feelings come up. But here is what is interes

“Lying is people pleasing and people pleasing is lying” Brooke Castillo Simply put, pleasing people is making someone else happy at your own expense. We do this because we want to be liked or accepted. Some primitive part of our brain believes it is necessary to fit in. I hear from so many women that they want to speak up and share their real desires or opinions. But, there is a huge fear of upsetting or disappointing other people. Have you ever waited in a professional or s

When we are dancing between who we really are vs what we show to the world, it is exhausting. Think of the energy wasted trying to be accepted or liked. Some of you will argue with me that you don’t do that. And if that’s true, high five. But, if you’ve typed and re-typed an email or text because you were worried that you would upset someone… If you’ve bitten your tongue… If you’ve spent hours wishing that you’d said something different… If you’ve tried to dot every i and cro

I asked my client Kelly what makes her unique. This wasn’t easy for her to answer. After some prodding she said… “I’m a lot of fun, kooky, silly, and creative around my friends. I’m authentic and comfortable with who I am and in my skin because of the people around me." Why isn’t she authentic and kooky all the time? When she’s with her friends they accept her for who she is and love her for it. But, in other areas of her life she tries to protect herself from judgement. She

Putting up a typical post didn't feel right this week. I am contemplating racism in a way I have never done before. I'm shocked and saddened by what is happening. That statement shows that I haven't really been paying attention. Today and from here on out I am examining my own ignorances, biases, not wanting to look at my own privilege, and not wanting to see what is really going on. I haven't spoken out, afraid to say something ignorant or offensive. But, silence can imply b