Where Do You Need to Let an Emotion Just Be?

Have you ever been disappointed in someone you love?

What does it do to you?

How does it feel in your body?

My guess is you haven’t thought of ^^ that one before!

Most of us do just about ANYTHING to avoid letting our bodies feel anything negative.

It’s often why we find ourselves at the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerry’s before we know it.

Or drain the bottle of wine when you just meant to have a second glass…

Or shop, binge Netflix, gamble, or use sex etc. to insulate ourselves from our feelings.

We’re so afraid that the feelings will overwhelm us, thinking once the genie is out of the bottle there’s NO way you can put the cork back in.

But, the truth is when feelings are bottled up and avoided eventually the emotional dam breaks -and there’s no telling when or where that happens.

OR we just stop feeling all together.

And while that might sound like the better option that means ALL feelings including joy, fun, pleasure etc are snuffed out too.

My client Susan had a hard time admitting she’s disappointed in her young adult children.

They’re not stepping up to take responsibility for their own lives and when that happens she’s usually the one cleaning up the mess. It’s taking a BIG emotional toll on her.

For many women, myself included, the humans we created are akin to having our hearts walking around outside of our bodies for anyone to crush, stomp on or break. We love them more than we love ourselves.

So for this mama to admit to herself and out loud that she was disappointed was a big damn deal. AND it’s the first step to her reining in the emotional roller coaster that she has been on.

What she NEEDS right now is to sit with the disappointment instead of using all her might to push back against it.

My hunch is there is so much alongside the disappointment like shame, sadness, loss, envy, etc. It’s so brave to acknowledge what we’re really feeling.

That’s the first step.

Then “sitting with it” simply means acknowledging that the feeling is there and noticing what it’s like physically in your body. You may have never noticed the places that are tight, tense, tingling, hot, or charged up in response.

Sitting, feeling, breathing, & noticing.

That's how we process emotions.

That’s what Susan needed to start lessening the impact of the emotion on her.