What Does It Look Like for You When You Don’t Deal With Your Emotions

An article in the Huffington Post showed that despite decades of psychological research and improved therapies, kids' mental health is declining.

They are struggling more than ever. This was true before the pandemic and is worse after.

Child psychologists suggest one contributor to the decline is that by NOT allowing our kids to experience the full range of emotions it can inhibit their long term happiness (go here for the full article).

The same is true for all of us.

How often have you been encouraged to really feel your feelings?

Think of all the times you’ve been angry and swallowed it down.

Not said the thing.

Or been sad and tried to avoid it with ice cream, wine, or shopping?

Negative emotions aren’t fun.

They also make other people uncomfortable, which is why your mom or your BFF brought out cookies to cheer you up when your boyfriend dumped you.

Cover, avoid, & escape from the crappy feelings.

But, what happens when you don’t deal with the emotions?

Eventually they come out. Maybe it looks like….

Taking it out on people you love who don’t deserve it.

Dissatisfaction with just about everything.

Illness.

Burning down your life.

What if instead we just acknowledge them. Let them be there without trying to push them away.

But, let’s be clear I’m not suggesting you pitch a tent and set up camp there.

Emotions come from a chemical response in the body that lasts about 90 seconds. Beyond that the feelings result from continually thinking about the circumstance

So let it be there and then let yourself move into a thought that feels a little bit better.

You’re not trying to go from zero to sixty. Just move the needle a little

Acknowledge how you really feel. Notice what you’re thinking & start shifting the thoughts.

It’s a practice that needs to happen over and over. And it’s totally worth it.

Give it a try and let me know what happens.