Replace Those New Year Resolutions With Intentions
I’m really particular about my tea - I’m married to an Englishman, so I blame him.
After a full day at a retreat, I wanted to sit with a good cup of tea before dinner. I was driving two other people around who didn’t want a drink, but seemed fine waiting for me to pop in & pick up my mobile order.
But, my mobile order wasn’t ready so I waited & waited &…
The people pleaser in me was antsy that I was making other people wait.
Then I saw the barista pick up the milk. This step always makes me nervous. I’d requested a SPLASH via the app. He didn’t put in a splash. I knew it as soon as I saw him tip the container.
When he handed me the drink, I peeked inside & knew it was too light. I wasn’t going to enjoy it.
Maybe it just needed to brew a little longer? I knew better, but I thanked him & left anyway.
When I went to take a sip a few minutes later my hot tea was cold. That guy had to have poured a ¼ cup of milk in.
I knew I wasn’t going to like it & yet I walked out without saying anything. Why????????
Because I had two people waiting in the car that I’d already “inconvenienced”.
AND I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass & complain.
But, when I went to enjoy my tea & it was wrong I was pissed-at the guy for not doing what I’d asked, but mostly at me for not speaking up.
This is a tired old tune. One that I’m really sick of if I’m being honest.
Is this a familiar tune for you too???
Today I was running errands & again ordered tea via mobile app.
When I opened the cup, it was exactly like the last time….white from too much milk. BUT, this time I asked to have it remade.
Did I still feel like a pain in the ass? Yep.
But, as I walked out with my corrected order I decided I was NOT going to keep thinking that thought.
The thought that asking for what I want makes me a pain in the ass is what was making me feel lousy.
We’re conditioned not to speak up.
Not to make waves, just take the milky tea-it’s fine.
Only it’s not fine.
It’s not what you want, but you keep accepting it.
How about when what you want is something like more honesty in your relationship? But, you don’t ask because you keep trying to convince yourself that it’s fine.
Or what you want is for your sister to stop belittling you. But, it’s really effing scary to talk about that so you keep letting little things go, it’s fine.
Or you really want that promotion, but touting your accomplishments is waaaaay out of your comfort zone. You don’t want to seem boastful or conceited so you sell yourself short & don’t get the job. It’s fine, you’ll try again for something smaller.
ONLY IT’S NOT FINE.
These are things you want.
You may be thinking about new year’s resolutions. Can we just forget those?! More than half the people that make resolutions drop them within a few months.
How about instead the focus is on an intention for the new year. An intention is more like an aim or a plan versus going hard after a goal. And is more likely to be achievable.
What if you aim to speak up more for what you want. Starting small with things like your tea. The big things will be too big if you can’t say your tea is wrong.
And if you like a splash of milk instead of a ¼ cup it doesn’t make you a primadonna.
That is your BS programming talking.
It makes you someone who knows how you like your tea. Period.
So here’s to speaking up & getting what you want in 2022.
Happy New Year,
P.S. Let me know your intention for 2022. I’d love to hear what is going to change for you.