I’m Not a Good Beginner - How Giving Yourself Compassion Isn’t Just Important for You


I’m not good at being a beginner.


Do you know the feeling?


It’s not that I need to be great right away, I just want to pick something up seamlessly-without messing up. 😂


As my husband & I were going to our first pickleball class, I actually said out loud that I needed to remind myself that I’m a beginner & not be hard on myself.


I have distant memories of being curt with my husband when he tried to teach me how to play pool in college because I KNEW how to play, I’d played in my neighbor’s garage-once a million years before. 🙄


Or how I hated volleyball because one time when I’d tried in middle school I was mortified when my serve hit the ceiling & everyone laughed at me.


Neither of those experiences had anything to do with the activities & EVERYTHING to do with the criticism I was lobbing at myself.


So here I was, a beginner at pickleball.


The class went how it goes for a beginner-kind of fun, kind of humbling.


But, unlike those other times I could hear when my inner perfectionist was kicking up about how I was the one hitting it out of the court too much or into the net more than anyone else.


In the past I wasn’t aware of what was happening. I just felt inadequate & took it out on the people around me or retreated in tears.


I’ll admit that there was a time in the pickleball experience where I had to stop, plant my feet, & breathe.


But, I didn’t cry. AND…


I didn’t snap at anyone or regret my behavior.


In fact, I decided to repeat the class so I could figure out whether I actually liked pickleball.


The second time around was fun.


Maybe it was having a different teacher.


Or because I wasn’t a complete beginner.


Or maybe it was because I was giving myself more grace to make mistakes in the name of fun. 🎯


Where could you use some grace & compassion for yourself?


I guarantee you my husband enjoys being around me more when I’m kinder to myself. I’d bet the people around you do too. Offering yourself some care isn’t only good for you, but for your relationships too.


With love & kindness,

Jen


P.S. Being a beginner doesn’t just show up in a new activity. Maybe you’re thinking about a change in your life & that scares the crap out of you. Michelle Horton left a career AND her marriage at the same time because she was just so done.


She relied on meditation, self-help books, & going inward to help her get through the changes.


Think this doesn’t sound like you? She wouldn’t have thought it was her either!


Dive into Michelle’s story in my Stop SHOULDING All Over Yourself interview series here.

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