Holidays without her mom are an entirely different experience for my client Kelly. And she’s NOT looking forward them. It’s been a few years since her mother passed & this feeling of dread comes up every time.
This may not be your experience, but the holidays can bring up a rollercoaster of emotions. And this wonky year will be NO exception.
Have you ever asked yourself how you want to feel?
Kelly doesn’t want to feel dread, but she thinks it’s out of her control.
How do you feel when you think something like...“I rocked it today!” Elated? Joyful?
And what’s the feeling when you think “I really screwed that up?” Lousy? Anxious?
What you think-what you tell yourself-absolutely impacts how you feel.
Which begs the question...how do you want to feel?
Kelly wants to enjoy her holidays even though her mom isn’t here.
The thought she is going to bring with her is “this is different & that’s ok”
She’s not denying that she misses her mom, she’s deciding on purpose not to get capsize by sadness & miss out on what’s happening. Her focus will be on appreciating the here & now...knowing she’ll probably need to keep repeating her new thought “this is different & that’s ok”-which is totally normal.
So, invite you to ask yourself how you want to feel and then really sit with the question. What would you need to think to feel that way?
It won’t happen overnight. Your (very normal) brain will want to default back to old thoughts. But, if you keep reminding yourself of the thought you want to think on purpose, you’ll notice a change.
Could you use some help finding the thoughts behind the lousy feeling?
P.S. If you haven’t downloaded my FREE checklist “4 Shifts to Make the Holidays MERRY-Even in a Pandemic” grab it here. It’s NOT your typical holiday guide-no talk of budgets or gift giving, but there IS a section on USING the pandemic to make your experience even better. WHAT?! I know! Go here to get your copy.