Having Your Own Back
Most people don't show the world who they really are. Instead we wear a socially acceptable "mask" of how we want to be seen. Capable, smart, kind, generous, charming, successful, powerhouse, or like we have it all together.
We are afraid if we reveal the real us with fears, doubts, struggles, or opinions we might be rejected. So we armor up by trying to be who we think we should be. And yet most of us know the sting of rejection and what it’s like to have our feelings hurt. So the armor doesn’t work.
In response to this this topic, my brilliant friend Deb suggested that we might as well just love ourselves. The only way to really feel safe is to know and like who we are, then insults and judgement won't land in the same way.
For most of us, the way we show up now is a version of ourselves that we hope will be acceptable. “Don’t offend anyone, don’t say anything stupid, try to be interesting, make conversation but don’t chatter on forever...”.
We are playing a white washed version of ourselves. It’s exhausting. AND the people around us may come to like a version of us that isn’t even real.
Insults and judgements only hurt if we believe them.
So, what would it be like if you had your own back?
Instead of being afraid of what other people think, believing insults, or berating ourselves what if treated ourselves like a friend?
What if we questioned the negativity in our heads and started seeing ourselves the way the people who love and support us do?
Imagine what it would be like to put the armor down and just show up.
Liking who you are and believing in yourself is the only way to truly feel safe.
You may not be there yet, but I promise you it is possible. And doesn’t it sound way better than carrying around armor?
Can you see what Deb and I are talking about? What version of you are you showing to the world?