I shared with a client recently that I don’t attend back to school nights at my kids’ high school anymore.
She was surprised that I don’t go & asked how I stopped?
If my kiddo has a problem, I’m not going to talk about it in a room with 20 other parents. I’ll make an appointment to speak privately. I’d rather not rush from work, make dinner etc to get to the 5:00 start time. It’s not how I want to spend my evening.
If you think I’m wrong, that’s ok. That’s your business. Not attending is my business. I’m ok with you having an opinion about me because your thoughts about me are NONE of my business.
What?! 🤯 I know, I get it...I’m a recovering people pleaser!
I really don’t want anyone to think poorly of me. But, if you do I can’t change that and I will stress myself out trying to get you to think differently of me.
Author Byron Katie (www.thework.com) says there are three types of business in the world:
*Gods (earthquakes, floods, things beyond human control)
Your business is anything within your control. When we’re outside of that it leads to stress, fear, tension, & anxiety.
🛑 If I’m worried about my daughter’s impression on a potential employer...can I control that? NO! But, I can waste hours of time with thoughts about how she should show up and what she should say or wear...for what?! For nothing. I’m in her business & probably stressing her out!
🛑 If a friend has a different political affiliation than I do, that is entirely her business. As much as I believe my leanings are the “right” way, she has her staunch beliefs. Being in her business & questioning her decisions can infuriate me AND ultimately damage the relationship.
What was the last thing you were (are) stressed about?
Is it in your control to change it? If yes, that is your business & you get to decide how to handle it.
If it’s not in your control, ask yourself:
Whose business are you in?
Being in someone else’s business is thinking that you know what is good for them which (ahem) can look like:
“You need a new job”
“She should leave that bum”
“He shouldn’t have sold the family property”
Staying in your own business, rather than ruminating on something that is out of your control is a game changer!
Let me know how this lands with you. Where is it true for you? What will you do with this idea of types of business?