We All Want to Be Liked - How to Release Your Insecurities to Make Genuine Connection

We all want to be liked, that’s normal.

A friend reminded me that only a sociopath really doesn’t care what anyone thinks of them.

Wanting to be liked becomes a problem when you’re trying to be a certain way so that no one will think you’re too…

Much.

Loud.

Boring.

Incapable.

Lazy.

A lousy mom, friend, daughter, partner, employee...human!!

This is when you start trying to prove yourself by overworking.

Or overcommitting to things you don’t actually want to do to make sure no one is upset with or mad at you.

Or agreeing with people because you hate confrontation & don’t want to make waves.

Or second guessing everything you say because you’re afraid of saying something stupid & then ruminating on what the expression on your friend’s face actually meant.

And the chatter in your mind is relentless because you’re so afraid of being judged or rejected-again.

This is trying to fit in.

And this is where wanting to be liked becomes a problem.

You’re showing up as a version of yourself, that is “protected”.

You may remember I introduced the strong back, soft front concept last week where for so many of us years of experiences, hurt, or disappointments led us to protect our tender hearts. Go here to read that.

When we’re protecting ourselves we’re essentially trying to head off any criticisms, insults or rejection before they happen so we don’t experience the pain that comes with them.

So you take on more work or rarely let yourself have down time so no one can call you lazy.

Or you say yes to projects, parties, calls for volunteers...heck even you co-worker’s kid’s fundraiser because you don’t want anyone to be upset with or not like you.

And you hold back your opinion at work or in a social group until you read the room because you just don’t want to step in it again.

But, here’s the thing...if that actually worked...if overcommitting, overworking, or over agreeing actually kept you from feeling hurt, rejected, or like an outsider then you’d never experience those feelings and yet we all know that pain.

So you’re working hard to protect yourself & the pain, doubt, & rejection gets in anyway.

Can you see where you might be doing this in your life?

Is it working for you or is it exhausting you?

Hit reply & let me know what you’re experiencing. I’d love to know.

xo,

Jen

P.S. Fitting in is a big topic inside of The GC. Our goal inside The GC is to make genuine connections & it’s virtually impossible to do that when we’re showing up as a version of ourselves.

On our next call we’ll be talking about female relationships & why so many women find it hard to make friends as an adult.

If you’re interested in exploring topics like these in a safe space sign up to be the first to know when registration opens again. Go here.