I’m in a program where we are doing a “complaining detox”. It is a commitment to watch for our own complaining and shift the habit.
Complaining leaves us squarely in the victim role, something beyond our control is happening to us. Instead, in the detox we’re being encouraged to look under the complaining at what is really going on.
I think of myself as a pretty positive person and complaining can really get under my skin. So, it has been eye opening to see the behavior in myself way more than I expected.
I was at a conference yesterday that was unrelated to the detox program and funny enough complaining was addressed there too. The speaker shared that complaints are often “unspoken requests”. That was a lightbulb moment. Instead of speaking up about what we really want, we complain.
I don’t know about you, but I’d like to explore what is under my complaining and speak up about what I want rather than staying in a cycle of negative energy. Speaking up takes us out of the victim role that leaves us feeling powerless.
We all have times when we need to share what is going on with a friend. I respect that. But, it becomes destructive when we do nothing about it.
So, I’m committing to interrupting and getting curious about my complaining. I invite you to join me.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think and if you’re making the same commitment to yourself.