Sheltering at home alone in the pandemic was making my client Christy feel lousy. The isolation confirmed how much she wants a partner in her life.
She found herself stewing in frustration that she always finds herself in the “friend zone”.
I could hear the “WTH is wrong with me” in her voice as she described it.
As we unpacked this, Christy had some harsh self-critical thoughts playing on constant repeat in her mind.
She shared how a previous romantic relationship shifted to being just friends. Her thoughts went to how she wasn't good enough & started hating on her body.
Christy is NOT alone.
I’d bet $$$ you KNOW this feeling.
So many times we take a situation and make it mean something about us.
And when the thoughts start devolving into how much you suck 9 times out of 10 attacking the body is right around the corner.
So instead of looking at the facts of what happened, you’re spinning out in thoughts of how you're lame & can’t fit in your jeans anymore.
That solves nothing.
It leaves you feeling even worse & maybe head first in a pint of ice cream.
What Christy needs-what I’m betting YOU need- is to stop listening to the BS of the inner critic & start embracing yourself.
If your BFF came to you with this same story you wouldn’t chastise her about those extra 5 lbs, you’d love on her & tell her all the ways she is awesome.
Christy walked away from our session with a plan:
1. She is on alert for the crappy, critical thoughts.
2. When she realizes she’s beating herself up she’s going to shift to a thought that feels better. And she knows she may have to redirect her thoughts over and over and over...and that’s ok.
This is how patterns change. This is how Christy and you can start bringing in love for yourself one baby step at a time.
Think you can’t do it? I’m living proof that it’s possible. My clients are doing it. Let me help you.
I want to leave you with this. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Are there things you'd like to change, improve, or handle better? That's probably true for everyone. But, the fundamental truth is that what you NEED is to stop living in fear that you're not good enough and start loving on and believing in yourself.