Like Your Reasons

Have you ever said yes to an event or a commitment when you really didn’t want to? I know I have! It can feel like we don’t have a choice, yes is the expected answer.

Except that we do have a choice. Always.

When you’ve said yes, why did you do it?

The women I work with often say yes because they don’t want to disappoint someone or they’re afraid of what people will think if they say no. They don’t want to be seen as selfish, a jerk, not committed, not a team player, or that they don’t care. 

How does it feel when the time comes for the event or commitment that you said yes to out of obligation? Usually lousy with a side of resentment.

I encourage my clients to like the reasons for their decisions. Think about how it would feel to say yes to an event because it is important to you versus saying yes because you don’t want to look bad or you think you should. The energy leading up to and during the event is very different! 

When you like your reasons, you can come back to them if you’re feeling over scheduled or your inner critic is railing about you what you should do. Not liking your reasons can amp up the feeling of dread or negativity associated with the looming obligation.

The next time you’re weighing options, think about what is motivating you and then consider whether you like the reason you are leaning one way or another. If you don’t like your reason, that is a red flag and probably warrants more consideration.

Let me know if you’re going to start questioning what is behind your choices. And on this, the final day of 2019 I'd love to see your needs be a bigger priority than they maybe have been in the past.