How to Actually "Feel" Your Feelings

You’ve heard me say this before, but it’s worth repeating ESPECIALLY now-the best way to get through negative emotions is to FEEL them.

I know you’re thinking WTH Jen, seriously?!

I KNOW you’d rather eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s then listen to your Dad remind you AGAIN that your decision to leave a “good paying job” is nut balls even though deep down you knew that soul sucking job was killing you.

Or how your head feels like it’s going to explode when your kiddo reports on how fun Dad’s new girlfriend was when they went ice skating last night-YOU couldn’t get that louse to ice skate with you in 20 years!! So you find yourself with a cart full of “sexier” clothes on Amazon after the kids are in bed.

And you & I both know that no amount of alcohol is actually going to take away the pain of not having your mom this Christmas.

What avoiding leaves you with is extra weight, credit card debt, a hangover, & still feeling like crap-so you might as well deal with the crappy feelings head on.

Facing your feelings may sound all hippie, new age, & woo woo-but it’s way better than the alternative (ahem, see the previous sentence for potential outcomes^^).

When you’re feeling lousy, just let it be there without trying to suffocate it or push it away. FEEL it without judging yourself for having the emotion.

Then, name it. “I feel…”

Pissed off
Sad
Like I don’t matter
Frustrated
Utterly exhausted

It can help to notice what if anything you feel in your body. Maybe it’s…

Tightness in your chest
A pit in your stomach
Tingling
Like your head is going to explode

Sitting with the feelings, naming them, identifying what is happening in your body, without judging yourself -that’s how you process emotions. Let me be clear, you’re not going to feel 110% better after this. This is a process, not a magic wand. But, you’ll move through more quickly when you process rather than avoid. Maybe it’ll be a few hours or a day rather than the entire month of December & that’s ok. Give it a try & let me know how processing the emotions goes for you. With love, Jen