How I Stopped Trying To Prove Myself To Others
I’m lucky to have a couple of friends who are fooooodies & great cooks.
When I grew up, you were the damn hero if you brought a bucket of extra crispy KFC to a potluck!
My foodie friends probably would’ve high fived me if I had.
But, there was a time in my life when not being able to do what they did left me feeling like a loser.
I would stress myself out trying to decide what to make for a potluck. For.a.potluck.
I could’ve just gone to the drive through at KFC, but I was afraid of…
People thinking there was something wrong with me.
Of being found out that I didn’t have my shit together.
I had little kids & ideas in my head of what being a wife, mom, & career woman were supposed to look like.
Remember that 70s perfume commercial “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, & never let you forget you’re a man”. Ugh.
That kind of BS about women juggling it all-perfectly-& still looking hot as she unpins her hair while seducing her man after a day of work & wrangling kids. WTAF?!
It sets an expectation that’s so far from what real women do, say, manage, or look like & yet without evening knowing what’s behind it we can feel like crap for not living up to it.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think I needed to be the perfume lady.
But, I did think that my house needed to be clean & organized at all times, that my kids shouldn’t be picky eaters or throw tantrums, that I should effortlessly whip up fabulous meals every night, that I should feel totally comfortable at work & in moms groups, & that my thighs should be a LOT thinner despite all the Doritos I was eating trying to stuff down how inadequate I felt.
For my friends those potlucks were easy, breezy, fun.
For me, it was a cyclone of thoughts around what to do, make, say, how to show up, reminding myself not to say something stupid, obsessing over what stupid thing I’d said recently, & worrying what people thought.
It was the opposite of easy, breezy. And my insecurities impacted my family as I panicked & was sometimes short with them because my head was so full of muck.
Can you imagine how exhausting that was?
These days I know I just don’t enjoy cooking. It’s not one of my talents & I have ZERO desire to learn.
You know what I do enjoy?
REAL, authentic conversations & people.
Feeling comfortable in my own skin.
NOT listening to the BS of who & how I should be.
You know what else I like? NOT spending hours worrying what other people think or obsessing over minute details to prove to myself that I’m not good enough.
Your circumstances are probably different, but I’d bet you can relate to some of my story.
This is one way that I LOST a load of time & joy in my life.
Where else is it going???
Join me for a free training “The top 3 things that are EXHAUSTING you & how to overcome it.”
The training is bite sized at 30 minutes because I know you juggle a lot. And I’ll do it twice so you have options:
Thursday August 12 at 4:00pm pacific OR
Wednesday August 25 at noon pacific
Sign up here once & show up to whichever time works for you.
I hope to see you inside the Top 3 things training.
P.S Veggies & ranch dip are my potlucks go to these days...I know you were dying to know!
Go here to register for the Top 3 things that are EXHAUSTING you.