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How I Stopped Creating Unobtainable Expectations for Myself
I was terrified of someone figuring out that I didn’t have my shit together.
Because everyone else did.
In my mind having your shit together looked like feeling totally confident at work, home, & in all social situations.
That wasn’t happening.
It also looked like having an organized, stylish, CLEAN house (despite the children who lived there).
And speaking of those children-having your shit together meant that they ate everything put in front of them, never threw a tantrum, & magically put all their crap away in their very organized closets. Um no.
Having your shit together also meant having “sex & the city style” friendships where you give & gave support without fear, were super connected, & never ended up with a foot in your mouth.
That’s the level of expectation that I put on myself.
Let me say that again...
That level of expectation that I was trying to live up to, I was doing that to myself.
It wasn’t my husband or my friends that held me to those kinds of standards.
It was me.
The chatter in my head never let me even imagine that it could be different. Those were the expectations. Period.
It left me feeling really resentful & a little PO’d that the life I’d dreamed of-worked so hard for-was right in front of me & it all felt like work.
Not the happiness I was hoping for.
I finally reached a point when I was SO sick & tired of being sick & tired I had to DO something.
I hired a life coach.
She was the first person to show me that it was possible to shift the inner chatter, it wasn’t my fate to live with an unrelenting dictator in my head.
And that I could put down all the BS expectations & enjoy the life that I created.
She also helped me feel normal. That’s what happens when you actually share what’s going on & let someone in.
Whatever you’re wrestling with, someone else is too. And hearing that directly from another person is such a relief.
You’re not an outlier.
You’re not a weirdo.
You’re a human trying her best.
What would it be like if you let your guard down even just a little?
For me & the women I work with it’s literally life changing.
Do I still have an inner critic? You bet!
But, it’s not nearly as harsh as it used to be & it’s not in charge all the time. AND when it does poke it’s head up to insult or berate me I can spot it & shift into self compassion. That wasn’t possible for me at all before I did this work.
I have a space where you can feel safe to share & I’d bet you’ll be surprised to hear how many women struggle with the same things.
My coaching group, The GC, is an environment where women have agreed to bring their whole selves to the conversation, to leave judgement at the door, & to hold confidentiality for each other. Support like that is a game changer.
You can’t know how magical it is until you experience it.
Plus I share tools to help you see where you’re getting in your own way & I’m there to coach you when you’re stuck.
The GC
Registration is open until 9/9.
What could change for you if you spend 3 months inside learning, growing, & connecting??
Feel free to hit reply with any questions.
With love,
Jen
