How Giving Yourself Compassion Can Change Your Life
Who didn’t want the gold star on their paper in elementary school?! It was shiny and it meant something.
It meant you’d done it right.
That the teacher approved.
Accolades & acknowledgments feel good.
It shows us that other people think highly of us or see possibility in us. We drink that up!
But, what happens when someone-especially someone of authority-is disappointed?
It feels lousy at best & for sometimes terrifying.
My client Elaine developed a habit a lying anytime she was questioned about her actions or performance because she didn’t want anyone to think she’d made a mistake.
Even thinking of a situation where she might have to defend herself was paralyzing, so she avoided it all together.
Despite what your elementary school teacher inadvertently taught you, you DON’T NEED a gold star from anyone.
You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.
What you need is a gold star from YOURSELF & some serious self compassion for the times that you didn’t live up to your own expectations.
Elaine started being kinder by reminding herself that she can’t possibly know and do everything perfectly.
When she started admitting to herself & others when she’d missed a deadline or made a mistake, the world didn’t stop!
In fact the tension filled meetings that she’d made up in her mind NEVER happened.
It’s not an exaggeration to say the relief is life changing.
Elaine’s taken it further & gotten more honest & vulnerable with people which has led to more trust in herself & more solid connections.
Where can YOU find a gold star for YOU?
What could change for you if you stopped trying so hard to prove & started giving yourself even the tiniest bit of compassion?
Comment down below & let me know. I'd love to hear.