How Catching Yourself in the Shoulds Can Break the Judgement Pattern


There were big changes for my family this weekend. We moved my mother into a senior living facility. It was both physically & emotionally exhausting.


I took Monday off to give myself some space, but instead felt like I should get caught up on the laundry & all the other mess that had piled up while we were busy with my mom.


I was frustrated that I couldn’t just let myself relax.


Instead I was pacing around moving stuff, putting it away, muttering in my head about what slobs we are & generally feeling irritated that I wasn’t getting my day off.


Not pretty.


But, then I quickly remembered it’s my choice.


I get to decide how I spend my time.


So rather than grumble, I intentionally chose to spend the morning cleaning up because I like a clean space & then enjoyed the next two hours outside reading.


It felt so good to recognize that I was “shoulding” on myself and decide how to respond, rather than just react & feel resentful.


AND time with a good book was restorative for me. I didn’t need to sit outside the whole day, 2 hours was perfect. In fact, I think any amount of time I’d set aside just for me would’ve done the trick.


Where do you notice that you feel like you should or have to do the thing?


What are you worried will happen if you don’t?


Are you afraid someone will judge you?


Will YOU judge you?

Once you become aware of when you’re acting from a place of obligation or should, you may be surprised how many times you see it.


If you think having a choice is for other people but YOU really have to do all the things, you’re not alone. I used to feel exactly the same way.


But, behind all the should energy is fear.


Fear of being judged, of disappointing people, making the wrong choice, or missing out-just to name a few.


If you know what this feels like it might just be time to join me inside The GC. This month our focus is “if you weren’t worried…”


Just imagine what exploring that could open up for you.


The GC is the safest, warmest corner of the internet where we sort shit out & create change in an atmosphere of love mixed with a little ass kicking now and again. 😜


Come join us.




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