I’m an introverted, extrovert. Which means I can be really outgoing, but when it comes down to it I need alone time and quiet to recharge. True extroverts get energy from being with other people.
Socializing can completely drain me.
Today, in the middle of the afternoon as my energy was waning I had a video chat scheduled with a new woman I’d met at a conference. The combination of it being later in the day and socializing had the potential to tank my energy. But, the complete opposite happened. The conversation was easy. The woman is also a coach so we had that in common. We talked about our businesses and then about our kids and spouses. By the time we finished chatting I didn’t feel the least bit drained. Instead I was energized and pumped up from our conversation. And the thought occurred to me that sometimes you just need to have coffee (or a virtual coffee) with a friend to feel recharged and inspired. But, that wasn’t true of me in the past so what was different? Me. The truth is socializing in the past had an undercurrent of me trying to prove I was worth spending time with. I didn’t know that then, I just knew I never felt good enough. I would think it was my responsibility to keep the conversation going and that there was something wrong with me if the time wasn’t fun or interesting. The same was true in my professional career, I tried so hard to appear competent and capable (which by the way I was completely capable, that was just BS from my inner critic). I’m tired just thinking about it. So, I wonder if my story shines a light on where a not good enough energy vampire is hiding in your life? Hopefully my story shows you that change is possible.