Forgiveness is For You, Not For Them
We are fully in the holiday season. This time of year can bring up pain around unresolved relationships, particularly within the family.
Lots of people operate under the assumption that forgiving someone means accepting an apology or saying what they did was ok. That’s not actually what forgiveness is.
The literal definition of forgiveness is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake”
The definition doesn’t say you have to agree with or condone what the other person did or didn’t do. And it doesn’t say that you need to have a conversation with them.
Forgiveness is for you to let go of anger or resentment which is only hurting you. The Buddha said:
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”
We think the other person suffers under our anger, but the truth is you are the one who is suffering.
You have the power to choose your thoughts, which directly impacts how you feel.
You get to choose to forgive...and you may need to choose to forgive anytime you see that person or hear their name, but you are doing it for you. Remember, forgiveness means letting go of anger and resentment.
Choice is how you release being a victim and take back your power.