Are You Making Him the Bad Guy?
My client (let’s call her Janet) has a good marriage, but she wanted her husband to be more enthusiastic about doing things with her on the weekend. She wanted him to plan activities and be excited about going with her.
As we worked through her frustration a couple of things became clear. First, Janet was making her husband’s lack of enthusiasm mean that he didn’t want to spend time with her, which-spoiler alert-was not the case. And, second when I asked her what it was she wanted to do, she really didn’t have an answer.
Janet’s priorities have been other people for so long, she doesn’t know what would would feel fun for her.
She was looking to her husband to fill that void and made him the bad guy when he couldn’t.
Janet isn’t alone. So many of my clients and women I know put work, kids, parents, friends or even prioritize caring for the neighbor’s cat before themselves.
Creating time for yourself isn’t frivolous and it isn’t selfish.
Janet was feeling resentful toward her husband, imagine how this had and could have impacted her marriage if it was left unchecked. It is no joke when I say caring for yourself benefits those around you.
Can you see a little Janet in you?
Have you lost touch with what you want or what brings you joy? Do you prioritize everyone else and have nothing left for you? I feel you and hear you, I have been there.
Please share in the comments what you are noticing. I would love to hear.
P.S. I’m working on a webinar about how saying yes too often might just be making you feel lousy. Stay tuned, details coming soon.