What the @!#$ Does Self-Care Mean?
What the hell does self-care even mean?! And who has time for it??? Have you thought that as you scroll through yet another meme on Facebook?
My client Deborah* has unlocked the mystery of self-care and is fully embodying it. Her story just might inspire you! In the past the only time she would take for herself was when she wasn't feeling well. Sound familiar? Deborah used to drop everything if her kids, spouse, siblings, friends or co-workers needed her. It was important to be there for others. Until it all started to feel like something she should do or had to rather than it being important to her. She started to examine the why that drove her and found that she was more concerned with what others would think than what was good for her. When she could see this, she started listening more for how she wanted to spend her time. And started saying no to what felt like a should and yes to what she loves....like yoga, walking, exercising, reading, time with her kids, or time with friends that light her up. Saying no to "should" and "have to" is holding a boundary. Holding boundaries is the basis of self-care, saying no to what you don't want and yes to what you do. Deborah can see how holding boundaries and saying yes to what she loves has given her more appreciation for time with people she loves and they in turn benefit from being with someone who genuinely wants to be with them. It is a win-win. Lots of us fear that if we take time for ourselves we'll be seen as selfish or people might be disappointed if we're not available for them. Those things might happen and those who really love you will adjust. As will you. What does it bring up to think about really caring for yourself? Is there fear around saying no? Please share in the comments, I'd love to hear what's stopping you. *To be clear, Deborah isn't her real name. I take confidentiality very seriously. If you ever see a client name in anything I create you can be assured, it's a made up name.