Comparison, Life Lessons and Self-Love
Comparison makes us feel lousy. Period. Looking at your perceived flaws, shortcomings or "failures" in relation to how great someone else has it is a direct road map to landing head first in a gallon of ice cream or much worse. And it doesn't feel any better to be on the upper end of the comparison scale looking down as in "at least I'm not..." or "my (blank) is smaller, bigger, or more successful than hers...". Ick. We still feel terrible because tearing someone else down is not a genuine way to elevate ourselves. It doesn't address the underlying issue of not feeling good enough. You cannot build a solid foundation of self-love (which is what is so desperately needed) by tearing someone else down.
We have been talking about comparison in my private Facebook group "Imperfect and Happy". In that group we are working to drop the expectations of superwoman and buck the societal trend of competition among women. Instead we support and celebrate one another. We'd love to have you join us on this mini-revolution to live an imperfect and happy life! Click here to access the group. As we have explored in our discussions in I&H the key to feeling secure, worthy and strong is to love yourself. Just as you are.
One of our members shared the article below from Regina Brett who is reported to be 90 years old, but as it turns out she isn't and she wrote this list in her 40s. Regardless of her age, Ms. Brett's list reads like a how-to guide for a life of purpose, joy and self-love. It seemed so worthy of sharing.
42 Lessons Life Taught Me
By: Regina Brett
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."