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What Netflix Binging Won't Soothe; Neither can Coffee, Chocolate, Instagram Followers, New Shoes

Friends, this is my first ever guest post on the site. I couldn't be more proud that it comes from my friend, mentor, and partner Regena Garrepy. Please drink in what Regena has to say about soothing the soul. If any of this feels like your truth, you experience, your year, use the link to schedule a time to talk with me about the Red Hot Visionista program. It is my honor and privilege to do the one on one coaching for the Red Hots again this year.

With love,



The Ache.

It comes as a longing that can never be filled. It can feel like a broken heart- a feeling so heavy you want to hibernate through winter. It can feel like a loose string that if tugged too hard might unravel everything. The ache can feel vast and empty, like a hunger that you can't satisfy. Perhaps, it is the ache of being human. The ache of wanting to feel more, be more, say more, do more – but not knowing what. The soul ache of the heart trying to connect to…. everything.

Over the years, I have tried to soothe this ache with many balms.

The Balm of Doing it Right: collecting gold stars for being good and doing good.

The Balm of Looking Right: the art of putting together the right outfit, the right hair, the right makeup to appear sexy or stylish or polished

The Balm of Being Desired: if you desire me - or desire to be me - then I’ll feel safe

The Balm of Doing it Best: achieve the next goal, hope for accolades, up the ante, rinse and repeat.

The Balm of Busy: the more I do the more valuable I am.

The Balm of Sugar: the lure of almond croissants and chocolate as my pleasure reward for making it

The Balm of Keeping Secrets and Rebellion: the excitement and adrenaline makes me feel alive and young

The Balm of New Things: these new shoes, this new gadget, the incredible deal I scored

The Balm of Social Media: the obsessive checking of what’s being posted, what’s being said, what’s being responded to

The Balm of Coffee and Wine: for energy, for relaxation, for disconnecting.

The Balm of Netflix: the time-warp hole of bingeing as whole evenings blink by.

I hoped these balms would soothe the ache but the balms were only bandaids. They temporarily only distracted me or numbed me from feeling the ache.

Have you felt this ache too? Maybe you have your own balms. Maybe your ache has made you feel broken, depressed, angry, obsessed, addicted or alone and you have vacillated between trying to overcome it and trying to numb it.

I won’t pretend that I know all the answers. I don’t. But I do know that avoiding the ache keeps us in patterns and habits that feel disempowering or disconnecting. We try to ease it with the very things that expose it. And what I also know is that the ache is not just a longing, it’s a calling. And when we answer the call, we can alchemize the ache into fire.

Fire that burns the lies away.

Fire that sparks courage.

Fire that is the catalyst of desire and initiation.

This red, hot fire that inspires vision, worth, and power is what I am here to stoke.

I want all women to feel that fire. I want you to use your fire to set your joy, purpose and creativity free.

The soul-ache of your heart is an invitation to connect, to go deeper, to lead.

The soul-ache of your heart is your calling to open up, feel and love.

Over the past 10 years, my own ache has led me to find another way. Through mentors and guides, women’s circles, ritual and practices. I have learned how to listen, to get curious and stop being afraid of my feelings. I’ve learned to take off the masks, to tear down the walls, and be seen. I’ve learned how to have love and compassion for myself as I learned to be supported. I’ve learned how to get still, how to listen to my inner guidance, how to connect with my creativity, how to live with more freedom and less guilt. I’ve learned to care more about what I think and feel than my fear of others’ judgment. I’ve learned that it’s worse to abandon myself than the fear of being abandoned.

This learning, this ache, this invitation has led me to create my own invitation to others.

Together we transform your ache into fire and the support to work with it.

Women often hear the call but they turn away, saying “It’s not the year. It’s not the right time.”

We are all busy. We are all a little scared. Yet I challenge that there couldn’t be a more important time in history to answer your invitation, to find your tribe, to be supported, to remove the barriers to your red hot courage and your vision.

The time is now. We need to be awake and we need each other. The world needs conscious, caring, courageous women. We need your voice, your compassion, your leadership and your brand of healing. And we need you to love yourself, know what you have to offer and build strong, healthy relationships. We can’t effectively do that alone.

I know that the Red Hot Visionista Circle program may genuinely not interest you. I may not be your messenger. My circle may not resonate. That’s OK. There are lots of invitations out there.

Here’s what I hope you hear:

Answer the call of your ache. We need you.

(and all of your messy, beautiful feelings, truth and fire)

I am calling in a few more women to this year's program who feel the tingle, the stirring, the uncomfortableness and possibility of this invitation. If it’s you, I implore you not to dismiss this email, but to hit reply and tell me you hear the call. We can explore the invitation together. If you feel ready, click here to fill out an application!


"When I read about the RHV program I was deeply intrigued. With everything going on in my life, I wondered if it was the right time for me. I decide to at least fill out the application; answering those questions became the first step in almost a year of self-exploration surrounded and supported by the most amazing group of badass, visionary women I have ever known. My first conversation with Coach Jen felt like coming home and sealed the deal. Regena's curriculum and delivery of the material is truly inspired. Throughout the program I was honored to witness each one of us - mostly strangers on day one - come out of hiding to stand in our power and become "the leaders of our lives". The essence work, though... unmasking my essence and purpose was the most transformational work I have ever done. At it's core, exploring my essence was about letting go of the things that do not serve me/my highest good and, with the support, encouragement and acceptance of my RHV sisters, allowing people to see who I really am. It's been the best year of my life - so far!" ~ Nancy Doggett, RHV 2016, 2017

"The Red Hot Visionista program is simply life altering. I originally signed up for the RHV program because I was at a point in my life where I wanted to move forward in a new direction with my career and was taking the steps to do so; however, I was starting to get consumed by fear and found myself slipping backwards. I wanted the accountability, the support, the knowledge, the insights to help me keep moving forward. I had no idea how much more it was, and how much more it has impacted my life and my families life for the better. I completed my 2nd year with the RHV program and it has helped me move toward my dreams. It has helped me to embrace my fears, acknowledge and discover the challenges that were in front of me, work through them, and then release the doubt so I could move forward. Regena has provided me with the leadership skills and marketing ideas to create a heart centered business, where I feel confident in my abilities. Having the RHV circle of women has helped give me the courage and strength when I was questioning. They would be with me in spirit anytime that I encountered a big shift or challenge, I am never alone." Emily Wright, RHV 2014, 2015, RHV Leadership 2016, 2017

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