Like Your Reasons

Have you ever said yes to an event or a commitment when you really didn’t want to? I know I have! It can feel like we don’t have a choice, yes is the expected answer. Except that we do have a choice. Always. When you’ve said yes, why did you do it? The women I work with often say yes because they don’t want to disappoint someone or they’re afraid of what people will think if they say no. They don’t want to be seen as selfish, a jerk, not committed, not a team player, or that they don’t care. How does it feel when the time comes for the event or commitment that you said yes to out of obligation? Usually lousy with a side of resentment. I encourage my clients to like the reasons for their deci

When the Holidays Don't Feel Merry

The holidays can bring up all kinds of emotions. I've shared this article in December for the past few years. It always gets a strong reaction and it's a message worth repeating. Enjoy this best of post... This time of year can feel like magic. I love seeing the lights and decorations everywhere. The weather begs for time by a fire and a warm beverage. It is both a time to cocoon and recharge and a time to connect with friends and family. But, it can also be a time of stress and sadness. Missing loved ones, not having the kinds of relationships you wish you had, not having achieved a goal or using the end of the year as a measure of mortality are all examples of the myriad of stress triggers

One Word

Some people set an intention for the new year. It’s a way to help you come back to what you want, kind of like a rudder on a boat keeping you on course. Last year a friend introduced me to the book “One Word” by Gordon, Britton and Page. Instead of setting an intention you come up with a word to live by for the entire year. My word for 2019 was “integrity”. It’s not that I had a problem with lying or morality, but I wasn’t always honest with myself. In the past I have shape shifted a bit to avoid conflict or to fit in. Being in integrity doesn’t allow for that. 2019 was a time for me to show up more as the real me. I had to ask myself if decisions, thoughts, actions, etc. were in integrity w

Ugh, Complaining

I’m in a program where we are doing a “complaining detox”. It is a commitment to watch for our own complaining and shift the habit. Complaining leaves us squarely in the victim role, something beyond our control is happening to us. Instead, in the detox we’re being encouraged to look under the complaining at what is really going on. I think of myself as a pretty positive person and complaining can really get under my skin. So, it has been eye opening to see the behavior in myself way more than I expected. I was at a conference yesterday that was unrelated to the detox program and funny enough complaining was addressed there too. The speaker shared that complaints are often “unspoken requests

Forgiveness is For You, Not For Them

We are fully in the holiday season. This time of year can bring up pain around unresolved relationships, particularly within the family. Lots of people operate under the assumption that forgiving someone means accepting an apology or saying what they did was ok. That’s not actually what forgiveness is. The literal definition of forgiveness is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake” The definition doesn’t say you have to agree with or condone what the other person did or didn’t do. And it doesn’t say that you need to have a conversation with them. Forgiveness is for you to let go of anger or resentment which is only hurting you. The Buddha said:

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© 2017 by Jennifer Sherwood Coaching