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That's NOT What I Wanted to Do

Have you ever made yourself busy because you didn’t want someone to think you were lazy? I have (raises hand sheepishly). Isn’t it funny what we will and won’t do when we feel like we are being judged? I worked with a woman I’ll call Stacy who had her hands full with three little ones. She felt really fortunate that she was able to be a stay home mom and have a nanny who came a few times a week to be with the boys so Stacy could have a break. What do you think you would do with that break time? Probably similar to what Stacy thought she would do...read a book, get a massage or hang out at a coffee shop. But, Stacy rarely did those things and when she did she usually ended up racing home beca

Are You Making Him the Bad Guy?

My client (let’s call her Janet) has a good marriage, but she wanted her husband to be more enthusiastic about doing things with her on the weekend. She wanted him to plan activities and be excited about going with her. As we worked through her frustration a couple of things became clear. First, Janet was making her husband’s lack of enthusiasm mean that he didn’t want to spend time with her, which-spoiler alert-was not the case. And, second when I asked her what it was she wanted to do, she really didn’t have an answer. Janet’s priorities have been other people for so long, she doesn’t know what would would feel fun for her. She was looking to her husband to fill that void and made him the

How Does that Help?!

My 19-year-old daughter moved to Orlando just about a week ago. As I write this, Hurricane Dorian is heading in that direction. She, like me, is a California girl born and raised. We know how to duck and cover for an earthquake, I don’t know how helpful that is in a hurricane. I do know what is not helpful, and that is me worrying. I’m 3,000 miles away. How is my watching the news, fretting and losing sleep beneficial to her? To some this may seem cold. If I’m not worrying about her I don’t care. I used to think that too. But, it’s just not true. Worry does not equal love or caring. It's just fear taking over. My lack of worrying is actually kind to me and to her. Imagine how much worse i

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© 2017 by Jennifer Sherwood Coaching