Have you ever made yourself busy because you didn’t want someone to think you were lazy? I have (raises hand sheepishly). Isn’t it funny what we will and won’t do when we feel like we are being judged?
I worked with a woman I’ll call Stacy who had her hands full with three little ones. She felt really fortunate that she was able to be a stay home mom and have a nanny who came a few times a week to be with the boys so Stacy could have a break.
What do you think you would do with that break time?
Probably similar to what Stacy thought she would do...read a book, get a massage or hang out at a coffee shop. But, Stacy rarely did those things and when she did she usually ended up racing home because she felt guilty.
She would beat herself up for taking advantage of the time and worried that the nanny was judging her for being spoiled or that her husband would think less of her. So instead she would organize or do some other household chore that was not what she wanted to be doing with her down time.
Can you relate to the voice in Stacy’s head that was driving her to be “productive”.
Do you know the feeling of abandoning what you really want to do because you’re afraid of what someone else might think of you?
Have you said yes to the chore, the party or the volunteer position when you really didn’t want to?
Saying yes when you want to say no and worrying what other people think can wear us down.
How many times have you said yes and then felt irritated or resentful about it?
I have, I can so relate.
Let me know if you've said yes out of obligation or fear and how that was for you. Share in the comments.
And if you want to dive into this idea further, I'm hosting a free virtual workshop on Wednesday, September 25 at 5:00 pm pacific. Go here for the details.
With love and gratitude,