Sometimes it seems like we can't get out from under our feelings. In my twenties my friend and I would reassure each other by saying that “feelings aren’t logical”. This was usually to excuse away some bad decision generally involving boys.
But, as I’ve moved through this journey of self discovery I’ve learned that our feelings are a direct result of what we are thinking.
I had to hear that several times before it started to sink in. You mean I’m not having a lousy day because that guy cut me off in traffic and flipped me the bird? It’s what I’m thinking about and continued to think about hours later?!
Not convinced? Let’s try this:
Two women each have $20,000 of debt.
The first woman is devastated when she finally figures it out. She panics and thinks, “I will never be able to pay this off. What if I lose my job? I won’t be able to pay my rent, I’ll be on the streets!”
Woman #2 discovers that she is $20,000 in debt and she is ecstatic. She thinks, “Yes! I did it! I was $50,000 in debt and I’ve cut that more than in half. At this rate, I’ll have this paid off in no time.”
Being $20,000 in debt is the same circumstance.Why such different responses?
It’s the way they are thinking about it.
The guy who cut me off? That was a neutral circumstance. It was me steaming about it that turned my perfectly fine day into a lousy one.
Once you recognize it is your thoughts that lead to feelings, you have the ultimate control. You get to choose your thoughts and ultimately how you feel.
Sound revolutionary? It is!
If you decide to give this a try, I'd love to hear how it is working out. Send me a note info(at)jennifersherwood(dot)com