Do you feel like you want to smack the next person who tells you that you just need to slow down?
“How the $%^* am I supposed to do that” was usually what I thought as my hands were closing up into frustrated fists!
And if I heard one more person flippantly talk about self care (as if getting a manicure once every 2 years was going to somehow balance my overload and irritation) I think I’d become like the old Popeye cartoon with steam coming out of my ears.
So I’d better duck to miss your swing! While the messages aren’t always delivered well, taking care of ourselves is the key to turning down the volume on resentment and frustration.
But let me be clear here I’m not talking about self care that is inconsistent and ladened with guilt. What I’m getting at is real, consistent self-nurturing.
How are you caring for yourself?
How are you talking to yourself?
I see it in my clients and frankly in myself. So many of us are trying to avoid disappointment, negative feelings, and look like we have it all together. We don’t want to let anyone down, we don’t want to be judged and often we are doing all of this while feeling less than. It can result in us taking on too much, numbing out (food, TV, sex, internet), being short with the people we love and feeling utterly exhausted.
Self-nurturing is about being patient with ourselves, allowing the space to make mistakes, to not always show up the way we want to and to experience all of what life gives us including disappointment and negative emotions. This is all part of our very human experience. When we avoid the “humanness” of life we continue the cycle of numbing out, taking on too much and feeling less than.
This is the epitome of a vicious cycle.
It is directed at ourselves and leaks out to those around us. No one is suggesting that we set up camp in the negative experiences and stew indefinitely, but, acknowledging them and allowing them to move through is generally a quicker process than dodging them indefinitely. And there are ways to help the experiences move through, such as writing in a journal, taking a walk in nature (without headphones), or reaching out to a friend.
If we can do this along with incorporating the basics of self-care; eating good food, exercising, sleeping and creating a life that is richer than a to-do list, that is truly self-nurturing.
Hit reply and let me know how this lands with you and if you want to smack me! I can take it.
And if you are interested in learning how you can make more time for yourself, join me for a free webinar “How to Make space for Yourself Every Week so You Don’t Strangle the People You Love” Thursday 2/28 at 5:00 pm pacific/8:00 pm eastern
Click here to register